Why in the world do we make our own lives complicated? I have asked myself this question a lot. In the end, we all want to be happy, successful, prosperous and full of love. And yet even after trying to get to that “destination” where our life is full of love, happiness and prosperity, we feel like we are far far away from it. In fact, most of us feel and say that our life is complex, it’s a mess….in short it’s so darn complicated! Like the whole world is after us or something is always going wrong and we have no idea how to turn it around.
Disclaimer: Before I begin let me clarify. This one article can’t cover the broad subject of happiness, fulfillment and all the good stuff we want to fill our lives with. Second – the idea that all of this is a destination, something that we want to achieve – is another huge subject that we can spend hours on. And this blog isn’t about that.
In this short 1500 word blog I am only going to cover a tiny speck of how we make our life complicated. Because I believe that one tiny speck boils this subject down to its core simplicity.
So back to what I was talking about – why and how do we complicate our lives? It took me many years to figure this out. And I was surprised how simple the answer was! Yet implementing it everyday in my life is a whole different deal. That’s what’s actually “complicated”, especially in the beginning. Ironic.
You must have heard this common saying-
"Life isn’t always black or white"
We shouldn't be judgmental, we should always look at both sides of the coin and always try to understand other person’s perspective. And we can’t be that rigid in our thoughts and need to be flexible.
All of this is absolutely correct.
And that’s exactly why we say life isn’t always black or white. Because it’s the “in-between” - the shades of gray that make everything so complicated. What works in one situation might not work in another. What works for you might not work for me. Isn’t it?
But then, if you think about it, maybe it’s not these “shades of gray” that make life complicated.
Maybe everything in our life IS either black or white.
Because everything in our life IS either aligned to our truth or not.
I want you to take a moment and let that sink in. Because that’s THE answer you are looking for. And it’s as simple as that. Because in the end, every moment of our life is either aligned to “our truth” or not. There’s no in-between in that. Period.
A simple example, which I tend to use often is that if you’re a vegan – you don’t go and work in a slaughterhouse. You just don’t. Because that’s not aligned to your truth.
If you absolutely hate your job and it’s taking the life out of you, you don’t stay there for your entire life, you change your job or discover your calling because that’s your truth.
If you love your partner you don’t abuse him/her or don’t take any abuse in any form. Because that’s not love. And that’s the truth.
If you love being healthy, you don’t do things that sabotage your health. You consistently take care of it. Another hard core truth.
Every moment of our life is either “aligned to our truth” or “not”.
And every moment we are given a choice to FOLLOW our truth or STRAY away from it.
Write it down so you can remind yourself this.
Now let me try to use the same examples I used above and show you how and why we tend to make our lives “complicated”.
Most of us love animals, especially our pets and we hate animal cruelty. Yet we support animal cruelty when we buy meat or dairy (even if it’s from humane sources).
Why? Because it’s what we’ve done for our whole life or it’s convenient or how else would our body get protein or we love the taste of it! But do you think by eating meat or dairy we’re aligned to “our truth” when we say “we love animals”? I don’t think so.
We say our partner loves us and yet we continue taking the abuse or giving it in the name of love.
Why? Because that’s how he/she is or for the sake of children or he/she is doing it for our happiness. So the “truth that our partner loves us or we love him/her” isn’t really “true” anymore. Because I believe love = no abuse.
We say we want to live a “healthy life” yet we continue to indulge in things that sabotage our health and pay no attention to what goes in our body.
Why? It’s either the taste convenience of fast food or we say life is too short to not have fun or healthy lifestyle is expensive. So when we say our health is really important to us but we can’t stop indulging in habits that sabotage it, are we really “aligned to our truth”? Probably not.
Many of us say we hate our work yet we spend years after years in the same workplace or industry or position.
Why? Because that’s what we’ve done our entire life or we don’t know what else to do or it’s giving us financial security or we think it’s too late. Another truth gone astray because of our fear of getting out of the comfort zone.
These are a few straightforward examples of how and why we take detours from our “truth”. And I can list many more instances when every moment and every situation challenges us to either align to our “truth” or not. And the more we take a step away from it, the more complicated our life becomes. Because it starts showing up in other areas of our life – be it our personal relationships, our health, our happiness or success.
So in reality, what makes our life so complicated is how true we are to our own selves.
Because if we aren’t aligned to our truth in its entirety, or we’re unaware of “who we are” or “what our truth is”, we react to situations, things and environment based on what others have done or our prior experiences. Especially when a situation arises where our fears and insecurities kick in or we lack self control or will power, that’s the deciding moment. At that moment we’re challenged to either stand firm in our truth or stray away from our path.
That precise moment decides – whether our life is black or white or a shade of gray. That moment makes our life either simple or complicated.
Because at that moment….
We can either choose to stand firm in our truth and overcome our fears, insecurities or temptations
We can choose to give in to our fears, insecurities or temptations & continue on the path that’s a detour from our truth.
And that moment comes in our life every day. Right from the morning till we go to sleep.
So how do we turn it around? What should we do to bring ourselves back on track?
For starters, we need to know what our truth is. That’s our benchmark. And then we start taking small steps and tiny actions to align our life with that truth. Every moment. Every day. We need to be conscious. We need to raise our awareness. We need to believe in our truth even if no one else does. And we need to remind ourselves of that truth each day.
We need to take one small action everyday that stands firm in our truth.
For example, if you love your children, don’t buy clothes from a company that supports child labor just because of the cost.
If you love animals, either give up meat completely or start small by reducing your meat intake or give up one type of meat or dairy completely.
If you are passionate about living healthy, give up processed food. Buy fresh fruits and vegetables.
If you hate your job, don’t waste your life – find some work that excites you!
Yes it’ll be inconvenient. Yes it’ll be uncomfortable. And yes it’s not easy to remember to take these small steps. But out of chaos comes beauty. Remember you’ll be giving up the old and bringing in the new. And every inconvenience and discomfort is a chance to strengthen your determination to stay true to yourself.
Our life is a journey and we are gifted with challenges big or small to test how strong our will power is and how determined we are to stand firm in our truth. The beauty is, once we start aligning our life with our truth, all the falsehood slowly starts falling away. And soon our life becomes simpler. We build on our truth like we build our muscles. We are persistent, determined and don’t give up. The more we stay firm in our truth, the more fuel we give it and the stronger it becomes. And the universe does its part by testing us again and again to make sure we’re not slacking.
Finding your truth isn’t hard or complicated. It’s above all ethics, morals that our society teaches us. It’s foundation is love and harmony – for all. So anything that brings you more love and harmony – follow that – because that’s your truth.
You have the power to make your life simple or complicated. The choice is yours. Entirely yours.
At the core, you already know what’s the right thing to do or what your truth is. Start choosing that truth over the convenience and comfort of falsehood.
Rediscover your truth and stick with it.
And see your life transform from million shades of gray to simple black and white. From complicated to simple.
Many blessings from my creative soul to yours,
p.s - Share your a-ha moments below and tell me one thing where you'll choose to stand in your truth. And if you aren't sure what’s your truth or you want to know how to start aligning your life to your truth, request a session with me! I am offering a FREE 30-minute discovery call to “Uncomplicate your Life” till end of August!
Photo credit: Bridget Fernandes
Artwork: Loveleen Saxena